You Got a 9 to 5 and a 6 to 10 but Ya Nigga Told Me Not to Work Again
Alonzo Harris: [to the residents of The Jungle] Aww, y'all motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Huh. You lot think y'all can do this shit... Jake. You think you can practice this to me? You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I go finished with you. SHU program, nigga. 23 hr lockdown. I'm the homo upwards in this piece. You'll never see the calorie-free of... who the fuck do you retrieve you lot're fucking with? I'm the constabulary, I run shit around here. You just live hither. Yeah, that's correct, you ameliorate walk away. Keep and walk away... 'cause I'm gonna' burn this motherfucker downwardly. King Kong ain't got shit on me. That's right, that's correct. Shit, I don't, fuck. I'k winning anyway, I'thou winning... I'thousand winning whatsoever motherfucking way. I tin't lose. Aye, you can shoot me, only you lot can't impale me.
Alonzo Harris: [to Jake] To protect the sheep you gotta grab the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.
Jake Hoyt: [stepping into Alonzo's Monte Carlo for the first time] This car is not from the motor pool.
Alonzo Harris: Information technology's not, sexy though, own't it?
Jake Hoyt: So, where's the role? Back at sectionalization?
Alonzo Harris: You lot're in the office, baby.
Alonzo Harris: [in a coffee shop] Become some grub in y'all before we go to the office, my dollar.
Jake Hoyt: Cheers sir, but I ate...
Alonzo Harris: Fine, don't.
Jake Hoyt: Information technology's overnice hither.
Alonzo Harris: May I read my paper?
Jake Hoyt: I'one thousand sad, sir, I...
Alonzo Harris: Thank you.
Jake Hoyt: You know what, I'll become something to eat.
Alonzo Harris: No. Hell no you won't, yous fucked that up. I'm trying to read my newspaper. Please, shut up.
Jake Hoyt: I sure won't mind roasting in a blackness-and-white all 24-hour interval.
Alonzo Harris: Tell me a story, Hoyt.
Jake Hoyt: My story?
Alonzo Harris: No, non your story. A story. Because you tin can't go along your rima oris shut long plenty for me to read my paper. Tell me a story.
Jake Hoyt: I don't call up I know any stories.
Alonzo Harris: You don't know whatsoever stories? Okay, I'll tell you lot a story. This is a newspaper. It's 90 per cent bullshit, merely it's entertaining. That'due south why I read it, because it entertains me. You won't let me read it, and then you entertain me with your bullshit. Tell me a story, correct now.
[last lines]
Alonzo Harris: What a twenty-four hours. What a motherfuckin' day.
Alonzo Harris: [while driving in his Monte Carlo] You okay, kid? That was a man-sized hit yous took, dog. When was the last time you smoked weed?
Jake Hoyt: Last time I smoked weed... 12th class. We were... we were...
Alonzo Harris: Smoking weed.
Jake Hoyt: Yes, yeah.
Alonzo Harris: Left that out your service jacket. Yeah, I know you lot got secrets. Everybody got secrets. Didn't know yous liked to get moisture, dog.
Jake Hoyt: What'southward "wet"?
Alonzo Harris: Butt-naked. Sick. Sherms. Dust. PCP. Primos. P-Dog. That's what y'all had. That'southward what you were smoking, you couldn't gustation it?
Jake Hoyt: No, I've never done it.
Alonzo Harris: You lot have now. I oasis't, but yous have.
Jake Hoyt: Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Man, I'm gonna get piss-tested, and then I'm gonna get fired!
Alonzo Harris: Lieutenant's got our back. We know a week before we piss.
Jake Hoyt: Oh, shit. Shit!
Alonzo Harris: Blast!
Jake Hoyt: Why did you lot do this to me?
Alonzo Harris: Nobody told y'all to smoke that thing. You fabricated the conclusion. Alive with your decision. Ain't similar I put a gun to your head.
Alonzo Harris: Take that dick and stick information technology upwardly that funky little ass of yours, bowwow. Damn, I'thou thirsty.
Jake Hoyt: [after repeatedly punching Detective Harris] It's no fun when the rabbit has the gun, is information technology?
Alonzo Harris: [laughing] My nigga...
[to surrounding crowd]
Alonzo Harris: Hey. First dom who puts one in his caput... I'll make you a rich man. C'mon at present, who wanna get paid? Who wanna go paid?
Jake Hoyt: They're non similar you. You wanna know what I learned today? I'm not similar you.
Alonzo Harris: That's proficient, Jake. Glad to hear it. Good... so what you gonna do know, yous gonna shoot me? You gonna bosom yo' cherry killin' a cop?
[pulls out badge]
Alonzo Harris: There it is, Jake, hit me. Yous own't never killed anybody earlier, have you? It ain't similar steppin' on ants, Jake. It takes a human to kill... you man plenty to kill, Jake?
Bluish: [while in a wheelchair] What you need, homey?
Jake Hoyt: Crack. 20 bucks' worth.
Blue: Scissure?
[looks at Alonzo]
Blue: Smells similar bacon in this muthafucka. What I look like, a sucka to yous, nigga? Fuck yous, rookie.
Alonzo Harris: [in a java store] Just, I don't believe you lot. You lot tapped that ass, didn't y'all. C'mon, tell the truth, yous know you tapped that donkey. You put her in the backseat, BAM. Code-X.
Jake Hoyt: Look man, I got a wife.
Alonzo Harris: You got a dick. You exercise accept a dick, don't you lot? Okay, the dick lines upwardly straight similar that correct? To the right of it and to the left of information technology are pockets, right? In those pockets are money. Look in either one of 'em, pay the beak.
Jake: [subsequently meeting with the Three Wise Men] How much money was in that handbag?
Alonzo: xl G's.
Jake: What was that for?
Alonzo: You really wanna know?
Jake: Yeah. I asked, didn't I?
Alonzo: Nothing's free in this globe, Jake. Not fifty-fifty arrest warrants.
Jake: Shit, I didn't wanna know.
Stan Gursky: [in a steakhouse restaurant] Alonzo, heard you had an expensive weekend in Vegas. How did you ever screw upwardly so bad?
Alonzo: Hey, I didn't know. It'south not my boondocks. I'one thousand non all-seeing.
Lou Jacobs: The Russians don't care if y'all have a badge. They'll whack you. You ought to hop a jet out of here.
Alonzo: Why? It's an easy fix. I'll but cash in on an business relationship.
Stan Gursky: Which one?
Alonzo: 1 of my onetime ones, my kickoff i. The guy's a high security chance anyway. If I'm not around, who'south gonna help keep him off the radar?
Stan Gursky: All correct, it'due south your call. I do not desire you to dick this up. I don't want to see yous on the front end page like the rest of those assholes.
Alonzo Harris: [after killing Roger] Use your ears and hear me, Jake. Sometimes we gotta accept this shit all the way. At present, nobody volition ever ask you to pull the trigger if you don't want to.
Alonzo Harris: [to Marker] Mark, where are you transferring to?
Mark: Southward.I.South.
Alonzo Harris: S.I.S. Detective. Give me eighteen months, I'll requite you a career. We're an elite unit of measurement. We make the big seizures. We make the big arrests. But if you're in my unit, you gotta be in it all the style or not at all. I idea that you lot was man enough to face that. I guess I was wrong. Five proven, busy officers say that yous're the shooter. The investigators are gonna want to pull a tube of your blood to cheque for intoxicants, and what are they gonna find, Jake? Do the math. You lot've been smoking PCP all day, haven't you lot?
Jake: You've been planning this all 24-hour interval?
Alonzo Harris: I've been planning this all calendar week, son. Yous talk that crazy shit, I'll make sure that blood gets to the lab. You wanna walk your baby nuts effectually the block, you won't make information technology to the corner, but if you're cool, if y'all're cool... so you're a hero. Y'all're a virgin shooter above suspicion.
Smiley: [to Jake, earlier Moreno, sniper, Smiley drag him into the bathroom and lift him into the tub] Yous got the right to exist bitch-slapped.
Roger: [in his home] You lot effigy that joke out, you'll figure the streets out.
Alonzo Harris: At that place ain't zilch to effigy out, that'due south just some senseless bullshit. Don't listen to him.
Jake Hoyt: Yous know, I already figured 'em out.
Alonzo Harris: Actually?
Roger: You already figured the streets out.
Jake Hoyt: It's all almost smiles and cries.
Alonzo Harris: Put the beverage down, human, the motherfuckers out of his heed.
Roger: Hold on, Alonzo, agree on. Smiles and cries, smiles and cries, I hear ya.
Jake Hoyt: Yeah. You gotta control your smiles and cries, considering that's all you have and nobody can take that away from you lot.
Moreno: [while playing poker in their kitchen] And then tell me something. How long have you been a sus scrofa, I mean, a police officer?
Jake Hoyt: I've been a pig for xix months.
Moreno: xix months? Y'all like it?
Jake Hoyt: I should accept been a fireman.
Alonzo Harris: [after killing Roger and framing Jake] Congratulations, son. You're gonna get a Medal of Valor for this.
Jake Hoyt: But I didn't shoot him.
Alonzo Harris: A roomful of cops said y'all did.
Jake Hoyt: Merely I didn't. You lot did.
Alonzo Harris: A Los Angeles Constabulary Department Narcotics officeholder was killed today serving a loftier-risk warrant in Repeat Park. Gimme the bitch. LAPD spokesperson says the officer is survived... by his wife and baby child. Shit gets deeper. Y'all get the picture?
Jake Hoyt: Aye, I become information technology.
[Jake grabs gun from Alonzo, the crew points guns at Jake]
Jake Hoyt: That's the second time you pointed a gun at me. There volition non exist a third!
Alonzo Harris: Goddamn, boy! My nigga, are y'all watching this? That's it!
Paul: It'd exist my pleasure to put a hydrashock in that melon...
Alonzo Harris: Await, wait.
Paul: Simply naw, I'ma be cool. Now drop the fucking gun at present!
Jake Hoyt: You wanna shoot me, Paul, go ahead. But I'm taking him with me.
Mark: I'thousand going, Alonzo.
Paul: This motherfucker's a fed.
Alonzo Harris: Naw, he ain't no fed. He's just a choirboy that got the drop on all you fools.
Jake Hoyt: You can't put this shit on me. I did not sign upward for this!
Alonzo Harris: I understand your anger. Everybody, put your guns downwards.
Tim: [shouts] Hell, naw!
Paul: Choirboy outset.
Alonzo Harris: [shouts] Everybody, put your guns down! That's an order.
[shouts]
Alonzo Harris: Put 'em downwardly!
Jake: [observing drug dealers from Alonzo's Monte Carlo] What'south here?
Alonzo: Transactions. You lot encounter that Salvatrucha zero head sitting on that fence acting like he's non slanging dope? That's my boy. My male child, Neto. The punk'due south only 17, but he can impale with the best. He's ane of mine. He works for me.
Jake: Jesus, he'southward an informer?
Alonzo: Teammate. I got eyes everywhere. He gets to peddle a lilliputian reefer, gets money to take care of the family. He lets me know when big things are going on. Big transactions.
[whispering]
Alonzo: Boom, smash, boom, boom, boom, boom, smash, boom, smash, boom, blast. Look at that. Sexy ain't information technology?
Jake: And you trust him?
Alonzo: Damn right I trust him. I sprung his mom from INS detention. Sentinel this.
[drug deal being made]
Alonzo: Y'all run into that hand-to-hand?
Jake: Yes, I saw information technology.
Alonzo: When was the last time you did a felony finish?
Jake: Two weeks ago.
Alonzo: Good. Y'all need practice.
Jake: They wait like a bunch of college kids.
Alonzo: They'll go their education today. I desire the Brady Bunch grabbing drinking glass. I have the front end, you take the dorsum.
[Jake picks up radio to call in]
Alonzo: Stay off of the Rover. Let'south get.
Roger: [in his home] Hither'south a joke, boy. One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. And so he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the dorsum yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in the grass. Snail lies at that place dying. Just information technology doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new crush. And after a while it tin crawl again. I day the snail upwards and heads dorsum to the front of the house. Finally, later on a yr, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the homo walks out to go to piece of work and sees this snail once again. Then he says to it, 'What the fuck's your trouble?'
Jake Hoyt: That's messed upwardly. That wasn't funny.
Alonzo Harris: Then why are you cackling like a jackal?
Jake Hoyt: I dunno.
Roger: Effigy that joke out and you'll figure the streets out.
Alonzo Harris: I had lunch with the Wise Men today. They say you gotta render unto Caesar.
Roger: [in his dwelling] Fuckin' vampires want my pension!
Alonzo: [while driving in his Monte Carlo] Today'due south a training day, Officer Hoyt. Show you around, give y'all a taste of the concern. I got 38 cases pending trial, 63 in active investigations, another 250 on the log I can't clear. I supervise v officers. That'due south five different personalities. V sets of problems. You tin can be number six if you deed now. But I ain't holding no hands, okay? I ain't baby-sitting. You got today and today only to evidence me who and what you're fabricated of. Yous don't like narcotics, get the fuck out of my machine. Go get you a dainty, pussy desk task, chasing bad checks or something, yous hear me?
Jake Hoyt: [lying in their bathtub] Now, mind to me, that girl was being raped. I saw these two fuckin' drug addicts attacking her, and I stopped 'em...
Smiley: [pointing a double barrel shotgun at Jake's cheek] You lot lie to me.
Jake Hoyt: I would - not - lie to y'all...
Smiley: Don't prevarication to me! - Don't prevarication to me!
Jake Hoyt: I swear to God. She was beingness raped, and I stopped 'em, man. And delight man, I got a little kid...
Sniper: [elevating Jake's legs upwards] Shut the fuck up, faggot.
Sniper: Smash his ass, homes.
Jake Hoyt: I have - a little girl.
Paul: [in Roger's dwelling house] Alonzo, there's ii shots left in that other stinger. We need to just kill your boy right at present and say Roger got him coming through the door.
Alonzo: Nosotros own't killing nobody. This guy'due south got the magic eye. I tin feel it. But had a little freak-out, that's all. At present I say he'southward cool, and nobody's gonna hurt him. But yous exercise have a decision to make, because in about 10 seconds, this whole place is gonna exist overrun with blue suits.
[sirens approaching]
Alonzo: And so just walk outside and articulate your head, or just shoot me.
Jake: [on the way out] Hey, Paul.
[punches Paul]
Paul: [Mark holds him back] You're dead, motherfucker! Y'all hear me?
[shouts]
Paul: You're fuckin' dead!
Newscaster: A Los Angeles Police Section Narcotics officer was killed today serving a high-risk warrant near LAX. An LAPD spokesperson says that Detective Alonzo Harris is survived past his wife and four sons.
Alonzo: [while driving in his Monte Carlo] Why do you wanna be a narc?
Jake: I want to protect the streets by ridding it of dangerous drugs.
Alonzo: Yeah, but why do y'all wanna be a narc?
Jake: I wanna make detective.
Alonzo: There you lot go. You lot stick around with me, you'll make it. Unlearn that bullshit they teach you at the Academy. That shit'll get y'all killed out here.
Jake: I'll do annihilation you want me to do.
Alonzo: My nigga. Roll that window down first.
[Jake rolls downwards window]
Alonzo: You gotta see the streets. Yous gotta feel it. You gotta smell information technology, you gotta gustation the streets. How's your Espanol?
Jake: Uh, más o menos.
Alonzo: Learn that shit, blood brother. That shit'll get you lot killed. These motherfuckers out there be plotting all types of shit on you.
Lou Jacobs: [in a steakhouse restaurant] I don't know why I'm talking to you. I don't talk to dead men.
Alonzo Harris: I own't dead yet. Fuckin' prick.
Alonzo Harris: [Explaining his orders to raid Roger'south firm] There's nothing I can do near it, you know, I'one thousand just a lowly civil servant.
Roger: Ehhh, you're their bitch!
Alonzo Harris: [to Roger afterwards shooting him] Breathe dawg... breathe.
Alonzo Harris: [in an alleyway adjacent to a chained link argue] Y'all hear that, homey? You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? Huh?
Crackhead #1: [lying on the ground mitt] What you lot call back?
Alonzo Harris: They got room for guys like yous at the booty house, you always been to the booty firm. Large boys have you grab you ankles...
Crackhead #1: Suck my dick, bowwow. I know people.
Alonzo Harris: That'south how it starts. What about you, my man? Where's yo' horn?
Crackhead #2: I own't got nothin' on me, man.
Alonzo Harris: You sure?
Crackhead #two: Yeah, man.
Alonzo Harris: You got money, though.
[pulls out crack]
Alonzo Harris: Ooohh, you lied to me, y'all lied to me. Lucky I don't make you swallow that, dawg.
[steps on crevice]
Alonzo: [after killing Roger and shooting Jeff] It's non what you know, it's what you lot tin can testify. Marking and Paul, you kicked the door down. Jeff's the first ane through. Roger hits Jeff twice.
[to Jeff]
Alonzo: What'southward the matter, one go through?
Tim: Yeah, you shot him.
Jeff: You fucking shot me, homo!
Alonzo: Don't worry well-nigh it. You'll get a medal.
Jeff: Get me an ambulance!
Alonzo: Hey, hey, hey. You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? Let me quarterback this thing. Marker, Paul, you kicked the door down. Jeff'south the first one through. Roger shoots Jeff twice, bang bang. Our new guy, Hoyt, he'southward in second. Drops Roger with some fine shotgun work. Now who shot Roger?
Mark: New guy, came in spraying.
Alonzo: Who shot Roger?
Paul: Boot did it.
Alonzo: What did you guys run across?
Tim: Hoyt blasted him.
Jeff: Hey, fuck Hoyt, all right? Ambulance time!
Alonzo: Done. Paul, telephone call 'em up.
Paul: 11-49-98 Shots fired. Officer down. Repeat. Officer down. 5951 Baxter Street.
Alonzo Harris: [while driving in his Monte Carlo] You got a child, correct?
Jake Hoyt: Yep, I got a footling girl.
Alonzo Harris: I've got five. All boys. You lot ever need a son, you let me know. I'll claw your old lady upwardly. I can't miss.
Jake Hoyt: Can we not talk about my family?
Alonzo Harris: That'south cool, I respect that. I recall what it was to take a pretty immature bride. Yous probably still fuck her face to face, don't you?
Alonzo: [after forcefully pressing a pen down Blue'due south throat causing him to vomit the narcotics he was hiding in his stomach] What'due south that?
Blue: Motherfucking fissure, man.
Alonzo: That'due south right, Jimmy Scissure Corn. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Oh, you're federally fucked now. You got scissure... and a gun. Y'all know with your record you can go 10 years per bullet? Now you gon' gimme a proper noun.
[removes bullet]
Alonzo: That'due south 10 right there.
Blue: Come on, homo. You know I ain't no snitch, man.
Alonzo: I know y'all ain't no snitch. Gimme a proper noun.
[removes bullet]
Alonzo: That'due south twenty.
Blueish: Fuck!
Alonzo: Gimme a name.
[removes bullet]
Alonzo: That'due south 30 years. You wanna become to jail or you wanna become abode?
[removes bullet]
Bluish: He in the county!
Alonzo: Who?
Blue: Nigga named Sandman. That'south all the fuck I know,man! Shit!
Alonzo: See how easy that was?
[removes bullet]
Blue: I'chiliad ill of this shit, man.
Alonzo: You wanna collect the evidence?
Jake: Fuck that.
Alonzo: My nigga.
Jake Hoyt: [Yanks Alonzo'south badge] You don't deserve this.
[singing]
Alonzo Harris: Oh where, Oh where has my piddling Jake gone? Oh where, oh where can he exist?
Alonzo Harris: [to Jake] Shit, you can shoot me, but you tin can't impale me.
Alonzo Harris: [to Jake] Now, whenever you think of pullin' the trigger, y'all call up of him first. 'Cuz if you don't, he'll snatch your fuckin' nuts out and utilize 'em for dice.
Alonzo: [on the phone talking to Smiley] Make sure that bathtub is clean, homey.
[Jake gets in automobile]
Alonzo: It behoves you not to dick around on this i. Justifiable homicide in the line of duty? What happened was...
Jake: What happened was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's dissimilar?
Alonzo: Open your eyes, son. Tin't y'all run across?
Jake: That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.
Alonzo: Why is he my friend, because he knows my first name? Roger sold dope to kids. The world is a improve place without him. This man was the biggest major violator in Los Angeles. This is the game. I'thousand playing his donkey. That's my job. That's your job. I watched that cocksucker operate with dispensation for over 10 years, and now I got him. The shit'due south chess, it ain't checkers. What, we all of a sudden gonna curlicue up in a black-and-white? Come on, human being, have the money.
Jake: I told you, I'one thousand not gonna take that money.
Alonzo: All right, burn it, barbecue it, fish-fry information technology, I don't give a fuck. But the boys'll feel better almost it.
Jake: Fuck their feelings.
Alonzo: You're not making them feel like you're part of the team.
Jake: The team? You guys are fuckin' insane. All right, I'll get back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it accept to exist this way?
Alonzo: I'1000 sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. Information technology'southward ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta take a petty dirt on you for anybody to trust you.
Alonzo Harris: [referring to his shotgun that's his holding to notice to Jake, somewhere in Sara's apartment] Yous know I'thou surgical with this bitch, Jake. How practise you want information technology, dog? Closed casket? Recall that fool in the wheelchair? How exercise you think he got at that place?
Alonzo Harris: [while inserting confiscated marijuana into a confiscated pipage] To be truly effective, a practiced narcotics amanuensis must know and dear narcotics. In fact, a good narcotics amanuensis should have narcotics in his blood.
Jake Hoyt: Are you lot gonna smoke that?
Alonzo Harris: No, y'all are.
Jake Hoyt: [laughs] Hell if I am.
Alonzo Harris: You not gon' smoke it?
Jake Hoyt: Naw, man. I became a narc to rid the streets of dopers, not to be one.
Alonzo Harris: Come on, man, have a striking.
Jake Hoyt: Naw, man.
Alonzo Harris: [Slams brakes] Yep, correct. If I was a drug dealer, you lot'd be dead by at present, motherfucker. You plough shit downwards on the streets, and the chief brings your wife a crisply folded flag. What the fuck'south wrong with you? Talking well-nigh - You know what? I don't want you in my unit. I don't fifty-fifty want you in my division. Go the fuck out the automobile. Become back to the Valley, rookie.
Jake Hoyt: All correct, I'll fume it.
Jake Hoyt: [referring to Alonzo letting go two would exist rapists and letting the victim's cousins verbal revenge on them] That's street justice.
Alonzo Harris: [while driving in his Monte Carlo] What'due south wrong with street justice?
Jake Hoyt: Oh, what, then just let the animals wipe themselves out, right?
Alonzo Harris: God willing. Fuck 'em, and everybody that looks similar 'em.
[on phone]
Jake Hoyt: Hello?
Alonzo Harris: Hoyt?
Jake Hoyt: Yes, sir?
Alonzo Harris: You lot on your way to curl telephone call?
Jake Hoyt: Aye, sir, I'm on my way out the door right now.
Alonzo Harris: Hoyt.
Jake Hoyt: Aye, sir?
Alonzo Harris: Patrol ferries go to curl call, we don't get to roll call...
Jake Hoyt: OK, that's adept to know.
Alonzo Harris: Mind, there's a java shop at 7th and Whitman. Be at that place, 10 'o clock, in civies, comfortable shoes. You got a backup gun? Somethin' pocket size?
Jake Hoyt: Uh, no sir. I got the Section issue Buretta...
Alonzo Harris: Proficient, practiced, bring it. Cuffs too. We'll exist in the office all day, merely who knows? Perchance we'll practice some business, we're an aggressive unit of measurement.
Jake Hoyt: Uh, yes sir. And that's exactly why I signed up, and I simply wanted to thank you...
[Alonzo hangs upward]
Alonzo Harris: [to Roger] You wouldn't mind if I have some of your three m dollar-a-glass shit there, would you?
Alonzo: [bruised and bloodied, and turns his head dorsum to run across Jake pointing a gun at him while dragging away from him with a lit cigarette in his rima oris] , you lot gonna bust your ruddy killing a cop? You know what you get for that, Jake? The gas sleeping room. You know what the gas chamber smells similar? Pino oil. I'ma send you to a pine oil heaven. I'ma get that gun and I'ma get that gun and I'm going to go that money, and your not going to shit because y'all're not going to shoot a cop in the back.
Jake Hoyt: [before entering Sandman's house] If he'southward non hither, why are we here?
Alonzo Harris: We're here to serve this warrant.
Jake Hoyt: C'mon, man. Nosotros tin can't practise that.
Alonzo Harris: Yes, hell nosotros can. We're the police, we can do what the fuck we wanna practice.
Jake Hoyt: Shouldn't nosotros go become a real warrant?
Alonzo Harris: We're trying to get shit done. Just stand over at that place and don't get me killed, all correct, new guy?
Alonzo Harris: I fourth dimension. What's up Os?
Bone: What's up, Alonzo? - What's happenin' with you, Damu?
Alonzo Harris: It'due south all good.
Os: I wanna tell yous man: I appreciate what y'all did for my nephew, that's some real shit.
Alonzo Harris: For sure. For sure.
[Alonzo walks away]
Bone: I'k sick of this shit I can't stand that motherfucker.
Roger: Hoyt. Hoyt. Hoyt... Strong Saftey. Northward High. I follow all the skilful players.
Alonzo: [while coming together on the roof of a parking garage] What's happening? You got the picks and shovels?
Mark: Yous gonna dig a ditch?
Alonzo: Nope. You are. That's a nice arrange.
[to Paul]
Alonzo: What's going on, killer?
Paul: I can't call it. Been hearing some shit out hither on these streets. Y'all all right?
Alonzo: Yeah. I talked to the three wise men today. Everything's all good.
Paul: Shit, you say nosotros can get away with it, I'thou with you on that.
[points to Jake]
Paul: Who the fuck is this?
Jake: Jake Hoyt. I'yard from Valley Patrol. It'southward my first day.
Paul: You lot a long way from Starbucks homey.
[to Alonzo]
Paul: Yo, why the fuck is he in on this?
Alonzo: Gotta get his blood-red popped sometime.
Paul: [to Jake] Yo, stay the fuck outta my fashion. Simply for the big dogs, you feel me?
Alonzo: All right. Here's the warrant signed and sealed by the gauge, thanks to the Sandman. Alright, now mind up; Safety is first. He gives us shit - Boom! Nosotros're giving him lead. Let'south exercise this right so we tin can all go home and do the wife or the girlfriend affair, alright? Allow's suit up, ladies. Time to dial in.
[Os is smoking a cigarette with his friends]
Bone: You got business here, Rookie?
Jake Hoyt: I'm here for Alonzo.
Bone: [while pointing a gun at Alonzo] Jake, get ahead and bounce, homey. Get up out of here. Nosotros got your back.
Alonzo Harris: What?
Bone: It's like that.
Alonzo Harris: [repeated line to several people on different occasions] You wanna go to jail or you lot wanna go home?
Blue: I told ya'll I don't work for nobody. Why the fuck are ya'll sweatin' me any mothafuckin' way?
Alonzo Harris: [to Jake while walking up the stairs to Smiley's house] Believe information technology or non, I practice attempt to do some good in the community.
Smiley: I am e'er getting love for the homies.
Blue: Civil rights violatin' mothafuckas.
Alonzo Harris: [while in his Monte Carlo] All right, when's the concluding time you did a felony stop?
Jake Hoyt: Uh, couple weeks ago?
Alonzo Harris: Proficient, you lot need practice.
Jake Hoyt: They wait similar college kids.
Alonzo Harris: They're gonna become their education today. I don't want the Brady Bunch grabbin' drinking glass. You take the back, I'll take the forepart.
Jake: [Telling Alonzo a story in a coffee shop] In that location was a DUI stop.
Alonzo Harris: A DUI stop, permit me load up my guns a DUI stop, OH SHIT!
Jake: Mind human, its a skilful one, we were on sentry.
Alonzo Harris: We?
Jake: Me and Debbie, my training officer
Alonzo Harris: [Intrigued] Yous have a female preparation officer? What was she? Black or White?
Jake: She was white
Alonzo Harris: Liquor License?
Jake: A what?
Alonzo Harris: "A Liquor License", was she a dyke? A lesbian?
Jake: I don't know.
Alonzo Harris: Was she good looking?
Jake: Yeah, pretty skillful.
Jake: [Driving away from Sandman's business firm subsequently the shooting] God damn it that was not absurd opening fire in the middle of a neighborhood where was the Sandman? What the hell were you doing back there?
Alonzo Harris: I was checking for narcotic activity drugs, guns, and baggies
Jake: Cash
Alonzo Harris: Speak on information technology
Jake: She'south screaming nigh money
Alonzo Harris: She's but talking shit, she'southward talking about us getting killed
Jake: I'1000 going to be on the half dozen o'clock news in an orangish suit in hand cuffs because of you with the scandals and what not it is open season on misconduct they will nail united states of america to the wall
Alonzo Harris: Listen, you lot're in a privileged position to learn a matter or two go on your mouth close and your eyes open y'all say you're serious about doing some real law this is the place to acquire but if this kind of shit shakes you up maybe you should go back to your sectionalization you have to decide if you're a wolf or a sheep
[Alonzo shows Jake his tattoo, after pulling over on the side of the highway]
Alonzo Harris: Get your ink
Smiley: [to Jake, after playing poker with him, Sniper, and Moreno in their kitchen] Alonzo pulled off a phenomenon. Times are tight, he jacked up a lot of greenbacks from Roger, he blasted the fool, that'due south why I never shake his hand he don't respect nothing yous know what the money's for? Alonzo's a hot head, last week in Vegas some Russian starts talking shit, Alonzo only snaps shell that guy to death, turns out that Russian is a somebody, now his into the Russians for a million they gave him until tonight to pay upwards. his name is still on the list. Nobody thought he could get cash that quick, good affair he did because at that place'southward a crew on standby, if he doesn't plow up downtown with the coin by midnight and not a minute later, he'southward a expressionless human.
Jake: [Jake kick opens the bedroom door and finds Alonzo packing money into a bag and Sara lies naked on the bed] Have the money and put it inside that handbag and have your weapons and put information technology inside that pillow example
Alonzo Harris: [Clapping with the packs of cash] Congratulations son, y'all passed the test you're a narc put the gun down before you lot give my daughter a middle attack
Jake: I said put the money inside that bag and take your weapons and put it inside that pillow case, fuck your date with the Russians you're not going to make it
Alonzo Harris: [while he puts his guns inside the pillow case Sara gave him] so you're going to hook me and book me? You're the one that was smoking the dust, y'all're the one who ran out like a maniac and y'all're the one who shot Roger
Jake: How about the gun in your ankle?
Alonzo Harris: You desire the ane in my dorsum pocket?
Jake: Yeah I would
Alonzo Harris: Yous got 1 problem though, you got no witnesses, who are your fucking witnesses? Roger? Smiley? Yous think my troops are going to aid you? What tin can you evidence? Where's your show?
Jake: [points to the bag filled with money as Alonzo flicks a cigarette into Jake'south face] It's right there
Doug Rosselli: [telling Alonzo a story in a steakhouse restaurant with Lou, and Stan present] There'south a serial burglar we're chasing him for twelve months, a real slickster and he gave upwards zilch. His sentencing was today so before the hearing he gets a concur of some peanut butter and he packs his ass crack with it, he's standing tall before the judge and he's ready to give a statement, he shoves his hand down his pants and it comes out with a glob of actress chunky Jiff, bailiffs won't come near him. Now he's looking at the estimate in the eyes and licks his fingers clean, then the judge says "this poor man is insane, he tin't go to prison house", orders him to get a psychiatric evaluation and by the fourth dimension the judge found out it was sandwich spread, the society was already signed and the guy had already been transferred, after half dozen months in the puzzle factory they call him "normal" and let him loose, he'll never exercise a day in prison. One day I'k going to notice this guy on the street and I'm going to kill him.
Alonzo Harris: [repeated line to Jake, referring to police, procedures, rules and regulations don't apply to all situations therefore police officers need to brand their own judgment and discretion when in the field] You did what you had to exercise.
Alonzo Harris: [repeated line to several people in different situations] It's not what you know, it's what yous tin can prove.
Alonzo Harris: Yep, I know y'all got secrets. Everybody got secrets. Didn't know y'all liked to become moisture, dog.
Jake: What's "wet"?
Alonzo Harris: Butt-naked. Ill. Sherms. Dust. PCP. Primos. P-Dog. That's what you had. That's what y'all were smoking, you couldn't gustation it?
Jake Hoyt: Police Department! Let'southward see your easily!
Alonzo Harris: Put your hands up! Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Driver, right side passenger, hands on the windshield!
Jake Hoyt: [to female] Rear seat passenger, palms on the glass. Look that manner!
Alonzo Harris: Put information technology in park!
College Driver: Stick shift.
Alonzo Harris: Take your keys out and throw 'em in the window. Take your keys out and throw 'em in the window.
Male person College Passenger: I'm sorry.
Alonzo Harris: [to forepart passenger] Close up! Too late for that.
[to commuter]
Alonzo Harris: Fork it over!
College Driver: What are you talking virtually?
Alonzo Harris: You know what I'k talking about. The marijuana. Give it to me! Give it to me!
[to forepart rider]
Alonzo Harris: Gimme that piping underneath your seat.
Male person College Passenger: My mom gave it to me.
Alonzo Harris: I don't care who gave it to you. She can pick it upwards in jail. What else you got? C'monday, c'monday, gimme, gimme, gimme.
[female removes hands from drinking glass]
Alonzo Harris: [to Jake] Hey, command your suspect!
Jake Hoyt: Miss, palms on the glass!
Alonzo Harris: [to female person] You move those hands again, I'll slap the taste out of your oral fissure. Put your hands over there. Correct there.
[to driver]
Alonzo Harris: Now what are you doing out hither? You know this is a gang neighborhood?
Higher Driver: Yes.
Alonzo Harris: Then don't come up down hither again. I catch you downwardly here again, I'ma take your vehicle. I'ma make y'all walk abode. I'ma permit the homeboys up the hill run a railroad train on your girlfriend. You know what a train is, don't you?
Higher Commuter: Yeah.
Alonzo Harris: All right, cheers for your cooperation.
[to Jake]
Alonzo Harris: Permit'due south go. Safe your iron, son.
Male person College Passenger: Shit!
[first lines, after he shuts off the alarm clock]
Jake: It's time.
Alonzo Harris: Boom!
[earlier and later Jake tells him the DUI story inside the coffee shop]
Jake Hoyt: [referring to Blue] That stuff doesn't fly anymore, man. Shovin' a pen down - what if that guy complains?
Alonzo Harris: [while driving in his Monte Carlo] To who?
Jake: [Telling Alonzo a story in a coffee store] It was a tranquillity nighttime we were rolling on Van Nuys I'm driving this Acura comes out a side street all over the median in excess I light it up striking the whaler guy drives on like I'k invisible for ten blocks earlier he pulls over plates were unclean then I'm watching from our unit of measurement and she's tossing the Acura she calls me over to the vehicle a snub 38 two shotguns fully loaded so she calls our supervisor and I keep searching and I notice five hundred grams of meth turns out this DUI is on bail for distribution and is on his way to smoke his ex-partner before trial so we prevented a murder.
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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0139654/quotes/qt0250818
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